SILLY STUFF :0)
IN COLD STORAGE
This cryogenics lab I know
Keeps its folks at forty below;
This Soviet lab is full of pecks
Of Russians, Poles and old cached Czechs.
E.T.'S LAMB
E.T. had a little lamb
It's fleece was red
and blue
Carl Saigon took a look and said
You aren't from Earth,
are you?
COP TOP On top of Old Smokey |
LAMENT OF THE ITCHY SPACEMEN
First you tickle ups
And then you tickle downs
Just when you think you've had enough
Why then you tickle rounds and rounds!
The spacesuit's hard and thick and rough
Through it you cannot scratches
You cannot usher out an itch by opening
up the 'atches!
You jump and bump
You itch and twitch
You make a thousand wishes!
The perils of deep outer space
Are nothing ...
When you itches!
NATURAL DISASTER
Rushing gushing mighty torrents |
MCTILLY MCDEE
This is an ode to McTilly McDee
Who liked to watch LOTS of TV!
She watched it by day
And she watched it by night,
She watched all the bug movies
They gave her a fright.
She watched all the soap operas
She watched all the drama
She once saw a Movie
'Bout a two headed Llama!
She watched all the Musicians
Singing the
Blues
She watched all the Newsmen
Stating the News
She watched Sesame Street
And sat glued to her chair
Till low and Behold...
One day....
She just wasn't there!
The TV stood turned on
Alone, in its stand;
The programs blared on
Some exciting some bland;
But the chair stood all empty
With nothing to see..
Of where-abouts of
McTilly McDee!
What became of her?
Nobody knows
And the Wind on the chapped lip
commercial
Still blows:
Neither Mission Impossible, nor
Mod Squad can find her
Kojak's stumped
And Mason denies her;
Even the fact that she ever existed
For if she had, why then
Isn't she listed?
In the TV Guide
Like all other programs
That work so hard to cheer up
Their Viewers' bad doldrums.
Where did she go?
Other Viewers still say
That the White Knight on Channel Two
Just spirited her away
And she galloped off with him
By his side on his Horse
With neither
dust speck,
nor
grease spot
Anywhere on their course.
So if you watch late shows...
Keep awake
You might see...
And solve the mystery
Of the disappearance
Of McTilly McDee!
IF WISHES WERE SMARTS
Einstein was a smarty pants
Rode light beams on a dare
I wish I had his intellect
Instead of just his hair!
*****************************************************************************
Our friend Sir Isaac Newton
Our friend Sir Isaac Newton, knew a thing or two
‘Bout Bible codes and gravity and why the sky is blue!
Our friend Sir Isaac Newton figured apples out
And asteroids and planets and mountains big and stout
Any object stationary wants to stay that way
(Objects must be lazy like my Uncle Tray.)
Any object moving, wants to move no faster
(Ambitious just a little bit like my Cousin Bubba Fester)
For every single action
Things happen justly back
It's true for shotguns, spaceships,
And the ways that people act.
But any object moving, tends to stay that way
Less acted on by other stuff,
So wear your belt today!
I’d rather it be seat belts that are that other stuff
Than your head upon my windshield, kid.
Cause windshields cost too much!
GHOST GARAGE SALES IN THE BURBS!
Can be sung to Ghost Riders In The Sky
A lone shopper went riding out
One bright and sunny day
A hunting out for bargains
as she sped along the way
When all at once a garage sale sign
She spotted by the drive
A quick left turn another right
For bargains she did strive!
Yuppie yi yo Yuppie yi yay
Ghost garage sales in the burbs!
The road was wide the houses nice
The shopper was intent
To find that sale but none did show
No matter where she went
The only sign it ever was
Stood standing by the curb
Announcing what had once been there
Ghost garage sales in the burbs!
Yuppy yi yo, yuppie yi yay
Ghost garage sales in the burbs!
When none did show she ranted at
This old sign undisturbed
A useless sign no longer good
Which fooled the passing herds!
Oh sellers take your old signs down
Or with us you will ride
A trying to find what isn't there
Ghost garage sales in the burbs!
Yuppie yi yay Yuppie yi yo
Ghost garage sales in the burbs!
Dead Jelly Fish
(with apologies to Flipper :)
Nobody loves a dead jelly fish!
They sting all your toes when you make them go squish!
They lay on the beach and the look like a mess!
They're one of Mom Nature's worst pests!
We call them yucky! Yucky!
They stink to high heaven!
Nothing so real is as bad as they feel!
And we know jelly fish belong
alive in the ocean
not causing commotion
Dead on the Beach!
This is a link to a poem that uses what are considered several "naughty" words. They are not being used as swear words but for the actual material, (something which is very necessary for all gardening projects). I gave it its own link so that search engines with blocking features don't block my website.
The rest of my poems are rated G. This one is a rated PG.
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ME
